This part of winter is always the toughest and has me dreaming of spring break.But not margarita-shots-and-beads spring break. Really when I say spring break, I mean jetting off barefoot to a remote island and leaving this shitshow behind forever.
I was dreaming of my perfect stranded-on-a-desert-island lifestyle last night and who I would want with me. One rule: No one on the island is allowed to be smarter than me. Here's who makes the cut:
1. Token family. Dogs, husband. Parents, siblings. Because they'd miss me.
2. Token boyfriend. I'm a fucking Desert Island Queen, I've got lots of needs.
3. Army of Tall Amazonian Lesbians. I imagine them looking like Kate Moss on steroids. They are needed to defend the island from all those assholes from my high school. Who TOTALLY WANT IN.
(Also they can help with occasional Desert Island Queen needs as well.)
4. Tim Gunn and that Millionaire Matchmaker lady. I need some comrades to sit back and judge the tall lesbians with.
5. MacGyver. Duh.
6. I would like to take this opportunity to get chickens and 10 more dogs.
7.My best friend, who in this scenario is a bikini seamstress, moonshiner, and doughnut chef. To fill in the rest of my non-sexual needs.
Who would you bring?
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