Nothing says virginal bride like a white push-up bikini. Beach Bunny Bride swimwear line is appallingly slutty-ugly. And didn't we learn not to wear white swimsuits by the age of 12? Perfect for the trashy honeymoon that includes crystal meth balls and speaking in tongues. Add a trucker hat for optimal image.
via Design You Trust
For dudes we have Orlebar Brown's line. Go ahead and pay $230 to have it look like a FUCKING ROTTWEILER IS LICKING YOUR JUNK.
via New York Times
I call this one the "FUPA-enhancer." If it doesn't look good on this bitch, who the hell will it look good on!? Fuck you, American Apparel.
via American Apparel
I'm sorry for the language, but this suit just reeks "Addicted to heroin, please cunt-punch me." Done.
via Urban Outfitters
Come on now, idiots.
About 2 years ago, I realised the swimsuit style that works best for me-- bikini top and skirted bottom. I get coverage where I need it without feeling matronly... and from the bottom of my top to my belly button-- that's perfectly fine skin to expose.
ReplyDeleteWhat peeves though-- it's DAMN HARD to find this combo unless you just want solid color separates. Which are fine, but not necessarily super cute. Or they're hideous prints. I'm not asking for much-- polka dots, matching trim or piping, &c.
I settled for two new suits in solid color separates for this year. Thus ends my Swimsuit 2011 Saga.
xo,
Lokes
josie - surprisingly...Lands End has a good swim wear line. i discovered this last year when a christmaqs present gone wrong turned into a store credit and my girlfriend was in need of a swimsuit. they have pin-up looking one pieces and a ton of options for separates. not sure what you would consider hideous, but it might be a good place to look for mix-n-match.
ReplyDeleteMelanie, now, that last one is kinda cute.... in the sense that if it were different fabric (dark green ultra-suede) it would look like lederhosen. If I wore it, everyone would get to see my nips and that would bring an end to world hunger. Think of the children!
ReplyDelete-Mo V. (OpenID is a a-hole.)
thanks for the ideas and information you provide, it really helped me in doing my job.
ReplyDelete