In love with these pendants from Chicago's Samantha Goldberg. She uses "old-world silversmithing techniques with unusual natural rock formations." The result is mythical. I gravitate to jewelry that looks like it could stop a bullet or turn into a key that opens a magic treasure vault. These are a bit out of my price range, but damn. Someday. I want.
Blatant self-promotion. IDM Photography included me in the awesome 50 Portraits Project. I'm cute and stuff. And see, Mom? Some people like my potty mouth.
Soooo I just found out about Justin Bieber's newly launched perfume. In and of itself, the launch is ripe with blog fodder. Yesterday Justin tweeted that "A real man knows what a woman wants." I mean, the jokes just write themselves.
Celebrity men hawking women's perfume is not totally uncommon, but it does take a special man to make it a success. I remember a similar joe, alike in almost every way to the Biebs, making women swoon similarly with his velvety perfume ads. That, my friends, is the Undeniable Billy Dee Williams. You may also remember him from Colt 45 ads.
Although no longer sold in stores (it's heyday was in the early 90s), eBay does have Billy Dee's Undeniable fragrance available. I really want to put old swagger to the test with the rookie.
So here's what I propose: A Bieber vs. Billy Dee scent challenge.
In real life I'm a SERIOUS RESEARCHER, and I know about the importance of control and well-defined operationalization in any experiment. The outcome of the study is simple, and the reason any girl wears perfume (ever): To get as much play as possible. Amirite?
Because I am an eager guinea pig for any situation that allows me to engage in mass amounts of flirting, I will be the primary tester.
The design is simple: Test each perfume on unwitting male participants, controlling for as many confounding variables as possible. I will be sure to show the same amount of cleavage with each scent, so not to give an unfair advantage to either the Biebs or the BD. I will avoid testing when ovulating, cause lord knows I just can't control the aggressive tone that my pick-up lines take on during this period. Colt 45 will not be consumed during testing.
Cool? I will keep you posted. Ladies, feel free to email me if you'd like to participate as well. I'm a Belieber 4 Life, but my money is on Lando Calrissian. Dude had a killer mustache.
Mimi Smith has been creating feminist statement art since the mid 1960s. I'm really drawn to these clothing pieces, most of which are on display now-ish at the Brooklyn Museum. A little fashion "fuck you" for your Tuesday.
Maternity Dress, 1966-1966
To Die For?, 1991, dress
Protector Against Illness: Black Tamoxifen Bra, 1996–1996.
The best way to judge a country's trajectory is not by its gross domestic product but by its fashion trends. We're fucked, kids. This country is clearly getting dumber.
Nothing says virginal bride like a white push-up bikini. Beach Bunny Bride swimwear line is appallingly slutty-ugly. And didn't we learn not to wear white swimsuits by the age of 12? Perfect for the trashy honeymoon that includes crystal meth balls and speaking in tongues. Add a trucker hat for optimal image.
Kristin Morland's beautiful art installations require a minimum of 20 hours (up to 200+ hours!) to complete. She hand-sews each sequin using an adapted Haitian textile form. The eggs (natch) are my favorite!
It has been a crazy month, and I find myself seeking out the comfort of Russian Pooh. Russian Pooh is browner and has a better pot belly. He's more spastic and awesomely Eurasian than our own taupe, pussy version.
I promise there is nothing like a few minutes of animated rhyming Russian gibberish to get you through the day. Take with vodka, natch.
Thanks to Marcus for introducing me to the joy that is Russian Pooh. (pic via)
I share a lot of animation. Because it's fucking amazing. I'm more blown away by good animation than say, space travel. Today I'm addicted to paper-cut animation. And percoset.
The first video is an artist's first attempt at animated paper cut-out puppetry. Ingredients: paper white glue colored pencil pen twigs leaves
Livestock are like crack to me. Someday when I move out of Chicago, I plan to have one horse, one cow, and one pig. As pets. And lots of egg-layers. I haven't picked out a pig name yet, but the horse will be Hank and the cow will be Lila. When I'm home visiting my parents, I take any opportunity to tag along with my mom when she heads to New Creation Farm to pick up her meat order.
Kristen and Scott Boehnlein of Chardon, OH started raising their own meat after nearly losing their daughter to antibiotic-resistant pneumonia. Doctors suggested that the hormones and drugs in our food-supply may have been partly to blame. Soon friends and family members asked Scott and Kristen to raise some extra meat for their use, and one thing led to another, and now the Boehnleins have a booming business. Farmhands include a big brood of kids, most adopted and all home-schooled.
In this region of Ohio, sustainability and locally-sourced food are concepts just starting to root. The Boehnleins' farm is unique to the area and they welcome visitors. Despite the fact that I feel a bit sad about all of these lovely creatures ending up (certified humanely) butchered within the year, this IS the way it should be done, mang.
Photos are from December 2010 and May 2011. Although it was raining this past weekend and the animals were inside, 13 year-old Nick took us through the hen houses and pig nursery. More pics on my flickr if you need a livestock fix.
And now enter please, my dream date with Crispin Glover.
A nerdy, Rubin Farr-era Crispin picks me up in a 1971 red Chevelle. "Hello Melanie. That is a lovely romper you are wearing. I am very much appreciating the extra eyeliner you are wearing today." We drive to a dusty rock-filled patch of desert. Silently, Crispin parks the car, gets out, and walks around to open the door for me. We lay out a worn Pendleton blanket and make ourselves comfortable, the hot Texas sun warming our faces. Crispin pulls out of his bag a blue Kool-aid-filled thermos (The thermos is blue, the Kool-Aid is cherry, obviously) and.... an handle of Popov. He grins. We drink Kool-Aid and make love until the sun sets.
Alternative Crispin Fantasies:
Charlie's Angels Thin Man Crispin and I go to a cockfight. We rescue all the roosters and punch our way out with brass knuckles.
George-McFly Crispin and I go to the Drive-In. Apocalypse Now is playing. Crispin falls asleep in my lap and drools on my knee as I eat all of the popcorn.
For more amazing Crispin eye-candy, click here. You know you want to.
British senior citizens party so much harder than us Yanks. Check out this dope mini-caravan that you can attach to your Rascal. (Note to 12-year old boys: A Rascal is a mobile scooter for the walking-challenged, not a euphemism for your wang.)
Created for Royal Wedding-goers, this mini bedroom is carbon-neutral. It has a 19-inch telly, a drink cabinet, and complete facilities for making tea. NO FUCKING JOKE. It's also pretty damn lovely.
Obviously, I envision much more glamorous uses for this scooter-room, such as banging hippies at Pitchfork. Hippies love tea!
Optional extras include: Solar roof panels, A FUCKING AIR HORN, and gaming console. I knew I'd find a great use for that £5,500 I have lying around. Come party on my scooter, sexy.
Dreamy sexy happy. AND they are Chicagoans from Ohio, like this other cool bitch you know. Double win. Loyal Divide plays at the Abbey Pub (a suh-weet fun venue) this Friday, May 14th. I can't go. :( Please go and throw kisses onstage for me.
Loyal Divide's video for the single "Vision Vision" (embedded below) is a cleverly breathtaking. Watch closely, it's delightful trickery.
Download the two-track EP for FREE(!) on Bandcamp.
Relationships are hard. Communicating is harder. This short animation by Matthew Walker made me feel like it will all be ok. We just gotta reach out, knock on the door, and try. Ps. Nothing turns a girl on more than a man apologizing.
It's time to get our grill on, hardcore. Our firepit is itching to burn. Last season I tried to make homemade veggie burgers. I was so excited to grill my own creations! Well, they wound up having the consistency (and flavor) of regurgitated sand. So this season, I'm stickin' to letting the master of the house do the creating. But I CAN spread condiments on food like no other. Even. Drunk. These are the things I like to put on my grilled goods.
Best all-around condiment: Lizano
I have been known to lick Lizano off of the coffee table, on which I'm well aware that dogs have a dance party while I'm at work.This Costa-Rican potion is like gold to me. It's widely available now, especially in that melting pot of the "international" aisle of your grocery store. You can also find it on Amazon, and if you are in the Chicago area, get a bottle delivered with your Irazu goodness for $7.
Hot Sauce Stand-by: Valentina
I have it on good word that this is Rick Bayless's fave, though I can't find a legit source to back that up. Smooth and a wee bit ketchup-y, it has more depth than Tabasco. It will also add extra kick to your elotes and is killer in Bloody Marys.
The Beautiful:
Empire Mayonnaise is (sadly) currently only available at the Brooklyn Flea Market. It comes in flavors like Emu egg, yuzu kosho, and black garlic. Luxury small batch mayo? I might eat that. via Design Crush
Miniature ketchup! Sir Kensington's minis are pretty and scoopable. For the refined alfresco party.Probably not ours.
Don't forget to make it sexy.
Slap one of these BDSM-themed stickers on the bottom of your bottles and just watch the suburban golf dads at your BBQ get aroused.
Honorable mentions: Garlicky hummus (homemade is always ideal, but Sabra is a good backup). And homemade guacamole. There is NO substitute for homemade when it comes to guacamole, kids.
