Friday, August 31, 2012
To all the boys I ever threw crazy at: I'm sorry.
I shouldn’t have told my friends about your psoriasis in such great detail.
I’m sorry that I freaked out and assumed that you are now into banging older chicks after I saw you having lunch with who I later learned was your mother.
I should have never pretended to love Rush. (....Rush sucks.)
I’m sorry I tweeted about your penis size.
I realize now that you probably didn’t need that Break-Up Songs mix CD I made you.
Remember when I told you I had a nightmare that you died at Pitchfork? A lie. I just wanted an excuse to text you.
I’m sorry that when I met your new girlfriend, I told her that she has a front butt.
I’m sorry that your new girlfriend has a front butt.
Image via Almost Genius. And hey, did you see that I wrote about "Moist" over at Slacktory?