The Science and Fruits of Ugly-Sexy

You know that guy. He may be a celebrity, or likely a former professor, or maybe even your mailman. He has over-pronounced, borderline neanderthal features. Big crooked eyes, a forceful nose, and a jawline that could impale a small child.

You think "Dude got hit with an ugly stick...but damn. I WOULD SO HIT THAT."

The beautiful phenomenon of ugly-sexy.

The science is simple: It's all in the evolutionary biology cues. Research shows that straight women* generally prefer (emphasis on the word generally) men with a specific combination of physical traits that set off a chemical cues in our brain and ladyparts. These cues tell us that he will make a good mate. Soft, gentle features signal someone who will be nurturing and a good provider. We like that. Strong, chiseled features (over-emphasized in Ugly-Sexy) signal that this man has enough testosterone to kill a horse. He will impregnate us and we will like it, dammit. Thus, generally speaking, our ancestral roots lead us to feel that the man at the pinnacle of general physical attractiveness will possess both types of these facial traits. Essentially, THIS.

So that's the general context. However, there's the specific context wherein we just need to get our rocks off. Fuck that nurturing bullshit, just give me genitals. THIS is where the Ugly-Sexy man will serve as a natural go-to. Remember, he's got the facial features that are pounding us with his testosterone cues. Yes, yes. He will more than suffice.

So this week, let's all give thanks for the Ugly-Sexies. God bless their horse necks and manatee brows. To get your blood flowing a little more, please enjoy the below ugly hotness.

*I have not seen the research on how Ugly-Sexy plays out in same-sex couples, but I'm gonna hanker a guess that anyone with even moderately submissive tendencies gets fluttery when approached by a hottie with a massive jawline and alien eyes.